7 Ways to Develop Your Emotional Intelligence
You've likely heard the term "emotional intelligence," which was first used in 1990. Emotional intelligence is commonly described as the ability to perceive, evaluate, and manage emotions in others and ourselves. Many experts consider it to be a better indicator of success than someone's IQ. Your ability to manage yourself and others are dependent on your emotional intelligence.
What is Emotional Intelligence?
Emotional intelligence (otherwise known as emotional quotient or EQ) is a set of emotional and social skills that influence the way we perceive and express ourselves, develop and maintain social relationships, cope with challenges, and use emotional information in an effective and meaningful way.
Knowing your EQ level can support you in becoming a better leader, partner, friend, and parent. If you know which areas need improvement, you can immediately begin developing those areas and at the same time, you can maximize your full potential in daily tasks using the areas that you score highest on.
While emotional intelligence is not the sole predictor of human performance and development potential, it is proven to be a key indicator in these areas. It is also not a static factor and can be (should be!) developed over time focusing on targeted areas. So how do you develop your EQ?
Accept responsibility for your emotions and actions.
Realize that outside influences don't determine your emotions and behavior. You can view things from a different perspective, and choose how you'll respond.
Work on your listening skills.
If you force yourself to focus 100% on whoever you're interacting with, you'll be in a better position to notice and evaluate what they're thinking and feeling.
* It isn't easy to hide one's emotions, but you still have to pay attention. The more information you have, the better you can respond.
Develop self-awareness.
We're constantly monitoring our bank accounts and the number on the bathroom scale. Yet, few of us monitor our thoughts, emotions, and behavior. Ask yourself throughout the day what you're feeling. Is the way you're feeling negatively affecting your choices?
* Are you choosing your behaviors in an intelligent manner or allowing others to push your buttons.
Learn to effectively deal with your impulses.
Impulsiveness is a common cause of personal turmoil. We feel bad, so we order a pizza even after we've already had dinner. Or we grab a credit card and purchase something unnecessary. This type of behavior moves us further away from our objectives. * Notice when you're behaving in a counterproductive manner and strive to make a more effective choice. Being successful and happy can be challenging enough on its own. Avoid sabotaging yourself. 5. Volunteer with those less fortunate. Spending time with those in need will increase your sensitivity to others.
* After witnessing very obvious emotions, you'll become more skilled at picking up on more subtle cues. You're also likely to develop greater sensitivity for others.
Keep the focus on responding.
Those with lower levels of emotional intelligence react, rather than respond. Responding requires thought and consideration. When you respond, you're making a decision. Reacting is more like a reflex. There's no thought involved, just the emotional response.
* Have you ever regretted saying or doing something without thinking it through? How would you have handled the situation differently? What can you do to give yourself the mental space to respond more effectively in the future?
* Avoid lashing out when someone hurts your feelings. Your reaction can make the situation better or worse.
Work at increasing your empathy.
Those with high levels of emotional intelligence are skilled at recognizing and relating to the emotions of others. Recognizing that someone is upset will allow you to have a more effective response.
* Ask yourself how you would like to be treated if you were feeling the same emotions.
You probably know someone highly skilled at managing their emotions. Their emphasis is on finding solutions. They refrain from getting angry or defensive. These individuals make intelligent decisions and can view themselves objectively. Emotional intelligence is an important component of healthy relationships, both at home and at work. Your life will be more successful if you can effectively learn how to manage the emotions of yourself and others. The ability to avoid or de-escalate interpersonal conflict is a valuable skill.
If you would like to know your emotional intelligence level, I am a qualified EQi 2.0 assessor and would be happy to walk you through that process! Simply send me an inquiry through my contact page or click the button below:
