Stop Being A Doormat!

The one place in your life that can increase your self-confidence is setting healthy personal boundaries. Boundaries are the imaginary lines that we put in place to protect our minds, emotions, and bodies. They keep us from being manipulated or controlled by others, ultimately creating a less anxious and more joyful life.

“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.”

— MARK TWAIN

Personal boundaries empower us to take control of our own lives to build healthier relationships with others. It's unlikely that you will be happy without them because you're always sacrificing parts of yourself to please others.

Weak or no personal boundaries chips away at your self-confidence because you feel helpless to speak up and do something about the situations and relationships you've gotten yourself into. 

Your personal boundaries are weak if:

• You can't say "No." You may get trapped into situations that you don't want to be in simply because you want to be accepted or because you feel obligated.

• You can't stand up for yourself. When someone is mistreating or disrespecting you, it's your right and duty to stand up and object – and demand better treatment.

• You are going against your values. One way of pleasing others is to do their bidding. If you go against your values to please others, your self-esteem becomes eroded.

• We are taking on too much responsibility. To be thought of as necessary or useful, we sometimes take on responsibilities that become a drain on our time and energy.

• You are too flexible with your time. When you let your own responsibilities go so that you can take care of others' needs, you begin to feel resentful.

• Unable to communicate your wants and needs. When you lack the self-confidence to open up to those in your closest relationships, it's a sign that you need more personal boundaries.

Weak or non-existent personal boundaries erode your self-respect both for yourself and from others. You may seem needy and easily taken advantage of because you're insecure in everything you do.

Ironically, when you begin to set boundaries and stand up for yourself, you'll get the respect and love you always wanted. People admire strength and determination and taking care of your needs first can nurture that respect.

Setting healthy personal boundaries and standing up for what you believe and want may seem very uncomfortable at first and you may worry about losing relationships in the process – but as you continue to develop and implement the boundaries, you'll feel more empowered.

Keep in mind that you're not unloving or challenging to get along with when you enforce your boundaries. You're taking care of yourself.